It's election day. My prediction: Kerry loses the popular vote but edges out Bush in Florida to win the electoral college. How can I be so presumptuous to make such a prediction? Simple. Historical foreshadowing, using the MLB playoffs as my basis. The Red Sox were all but dead in the ALCS, but rose Lazarus-like to win it all, much the same way Kerry's demise has been predicted in the polls the past few months. Kerry represents Massachusetts (spelling?), as does the Red Sox. The Red Sox, despite all pobability won it all. And where did they win it? Bush, er, Busch Stadium. Using this logic, I predict the election will be thrown to Kerry in what was "Bush territory," Florida.
Although none of this matters because the world will end before Kerry can take office. The reason for this prediction? The prophecy of Revelations was set in motion the night the Red Sox won the World Series. You notice how the night they won was a Lunar eclipse, making the night a truly cosmic event. Isn't there a line in Revelations that predicts "the moon will turn black as soot, and those donning the crimson stalkings will be the champions of the world," or something to that effect. Nevermind that part about the three-headed snake. I'm sure that part will become apearant soon. Anyways, enjoy the Kerry victory while it lasts, and feel free to have unprotected sex in the streets (unless I'm wrong, in which case use a condom.)
PS I voted for Kucinich.
