The following is an email I sent out after my cell phone was stolen. Writing buddy Jamie suggested I post it here on my blog for all to read, which I think is a good idea because there were people on my cell phone whose email I do not have. Anyways.
..and if you're receiving this message, it means that I no longer have your contact information because who the heck bothers memorizing phone numbers anymore? Or even writing them down, you know, just in case?
If you wish to contact me, this email address is a good way to do that. Or you can call my landline: (425) 788-XXXX.
I may have a new number in the coming weeks because I doubt very much that I will ever see my cellphone again. I had the opportunity to chat with the unscrupulous person who is now in possession of my phone. I called it to aid me in locating it because I thought it was somewhere in my house. To my surprise, someone with a heavy East African accent (I think) answered. When I tried to explain to him that he was in possession of my phone, he insisted that it was his phone. Communicating with him was very difficult because he did not seem to speak English very well. I thought maybe he didn't understand what I was saying, so I repeated myself. He suggested that if I wanted the phone he would sell it to me, so I offered him $100 (I wasn't actually planning on paying him this money. I just thought that if I could meet him in person, somehow I could get the phone back by maybe kicking him in the balls, or something). He countered with a demand for $1000. It was this demand that leads me to believe he was a foreigner because no American would think that a three-year-old cell phone could be worth remotely that much even if you included sentimental value. I countered his demand with an offer to call the police and have him arrested for theft. He demanded that I go eff myself. It was at this point that I ended the negotiation. I called the police and filed a report. Then I called the phone company and had them suspend service to the phone. So if you're in South King, or Pierce county, and you see a Somalian selling a three-year-old, non-functioning, black Samsung flip phone for $1000, kick him in the balls for me.
-Andrew
..and if you're receiving this message, it means that I no longer have your contact information because who the heck bothers memorizing phone numbers anymore? Or even writing them down, you know, just in case?
If you wish to contact me, this email address is a good way to do that. Or you can call my landline: (425) 788-XXXX.
I may have a new number in the coming weeks because I doubt very much that I will ever see my cellphone again. I had the opportunity to chat with the unscrupulous person who is now in possession of my phone. I called it to aid me in locating it because I thought it was somewhere in my house. To my surprise, someone with a heavy East African accent (I think) answered. When I tried to explain to him that he was in possession of my phone, he insisted that it was his phone. Communicating with him was very difficult because he did not seem to speak English very well. I thought maybe he didn't understand what I was saying, so I repeated myself. He suggested that if I wanted the phone he would sell it to me, so I offered him $100 (I wasn't actually planning on paying him this money. I just thought that if I could meet him in person, somehow I could get the phone back by maybe kicking him in the balls, or something). He countered with a demand for $1000. It was this demand that leads me to believe he was a foreigner because no American would think that a three-year-old cell phone could be worth remotely that much even if you included sentimental value. I countered his demand with an offer to call the police and have him arrested for theft. He demanded that I go eff myself. It was at this point that I ended the negotiation. I called the police and filed a report. Then I called the phone company and had them suspend service to the phone. So if you're in South King, or Pierce county, and you see a Somalian selling a three-year-old, non-functioning, black Samsung flip phone for $1000, kick him in the balls for me.
-Andrew
