Rock n Roll, Now With Airbags

Slash is now a car saleman. In a recent commercial he stands before six Jettas, tiered three tall like Marshall stacks, playing ripping solos. Buy a VW and get an electric guitar is the promotion. A guitar that you can plug into your dash and, like Slash, blast your own tunes out your whip's speakers. My first thought on seeing this was: despite now being a middle-aged corporate shill, Slash is still a fucking bad ass. My second thought was: what is the point of an electric guitar that you can play in your car? I imagine this is just the logical extention of the SUV entertainment system, the next step up from DVD players. Now while listening to your favorite mp3s you can rock out with an actual guitar instead of the antiquated air style. The down side of this is the inevitable backlash, the anti-rock puritans who will insist that shredding your fretboard during your daily commute is too much of a distraction, that it's teaching our children that wrong morals, and that it will exacorbate the decline of American Society. The activists who rail against texting at 70 MPH will mandate "hands-free rocking" legislature effectively marginalizing those of us who wish to bang our heads in the carpool lane. They will point to a related commercial in which Christpher Guest reprises his role from Spinal Tap. He stands atop a Passat playing for adoring fans when he falls, perhaps to a horrible injury, perhaps an injury so horrible they refused to show it in the commercial. They will hold this ad up as proof of the deadly combination of cars and guitars. Perhaps this is why Slash chose to give his image to this campaign, because he foresaw the tremendous potential for rebellion and anti-establishment sentiment in this technological breakthrough. So what the fuck is the point of a guitar that plugs into your car? Obviously, it's the appeal of joining the legions of bad-ass Beetle-driving motherfuckers who terrorize our national roadways.